Ah, socialisation—the million-pound question every home-educating parent is blessed to hear. If I had a quid for every time someone asked me, “But what about socialisation?”, I’d have enough to fund my daily habit of supporting the local coffee shop (because let’s be real, they make a better flat white than any chain could dream of).
So, here’s the thing: my kids are socialising. All the time. And not just with other teenagers their exact age—gasp!—but with actual people of all ages. Because newsflash: the world isn’t divided into year groups, and neither are we. So, let’s take a little dive into the wild, “unsocialised” world of my home-educated teens.
My 16-Year-Old: Neighbourhood Scientist (and Dave’s New Favourite Person)
Let’s start with my son, who’s 16 and apparently the local expert on, well, everything. You know who he’s socialising with? Adults. Lots of them. Just last week, he was explaining the entire periodic table to our 70-year-old neighbour, Dave, over tea and biscuits. I kid you not, Dave's face was a mix of fascination and confusion as my son casually described why iodine is essential but fluorine will ruin your day. Dave left with his mind blown—and a post-it note full of chemical symbols. (Dave now refers to my son as "the walking science lesson." I think he secretly loves it.)
These adult conversations happen everywhere. Whether it’s the local shopkeeper or the friendly carpenter down the road, my son will happily chat away about his latest Minecraft coding project. Yes, coding. My son doesn’t just play Minecraft; he’s busy writing mods and creating entire worlds. And if you’ve ever tried to understand the ins and outs of coding a redstone circuit, you’ll know it’s about as easy as explaining quantum physics to a goldfish. But he loves it, and apparently, so do his friends—many of whom he met online, coding together and collaborating on projects.
My 12-Year-Old: Bracelet Business Mogul and Crafting Queen
Now, my 12-year-old daughter? She’s got socialisation and entrepreneurship on lock. She’s not just crafting bracelets for fun; she’s running her own little business. That’s right—my daughter makes and sells friendship bracelets at local craft fairs. She’s mastered the art of chatting up customers, haggling prices, and handling money with more confidence than most adults.
Her social life revolves around creativity and business. She’s got a close-knit group of friends who not only help her brainstorm new bracelet designs but also get together for some silk painting (because why not?), song writing, or even filming their next entry for a short film competition. Recently, she and her friends wrote an entire script, planned their scenes, and roped in their siblings for cameos. They’re convinced they’re making the next indie hit, and honestly, with the amount of glitter and enthusiasm flying around, they might just be right.
At these craft fairs, my daughter’s meeting people from all walks of life—older artists who give her tips on marketing, fellow teen entrepreneurs, and loads of enthusiastic kids who are now proud owners of her rainbow-coloured creations. Socialisation? She’s networking. (I’m just over here hoping she doesn’t start charging me commission every time I wear one of her bracelets.)
But Do They Ever See Kids Their Own Age?
Yes, shockingly, they do. My son’s 16 and my daughter’s 12, and guess what? They do actually socialise with other teens. Whether it’s through home-ed meet-ups, sports clubs, or just hanging out with mates at the local cinema, they’re right there, navigating the same teenage dramas as everyone else.
My son’s also part of a weekly Dungeons & Dragons group (because what’s a social life without a bit of dragon-slaying?) and spends hours gaming and coding with friends—both online and in-person. He’s currently in a heated Minecraft project where they’re designing an entire fantasy kingdom, complete with working castles and elaborate mazes. His mates join him virtually from all over the UK and Europe, and trust me, the teamwork involved in building a virtual fortress is much more advanced then any school project.
And my daughter’s crafting empire has naturally led her to a group of entrepreneurial friends who love nothing more than sharing ideas, chatting about the latest jewellery trends, and plotting their next market stall takeover. When she’s not at craft fairs, she’s organising creative get-togethers, where they paint, write songs, or work on their upcoming film. It’s basically social studies with sequins and fabric paint.
Socialising with the Entire Community
The best thing about home education is that we’re not limited to socialising in school corridors or lunch queues. My kids have the whole world as their social playground. They’ll chat with the barista at our local coffee shop (who now knows my son’s hot chocolate obsession), banter with the postie, and debate the finer points of local history with a retired couple we regularly bump into on our walks.
Just the other day, my daughter spent 20 minutes engrossed in conversation with a shop assistant about the latest YA novels. I think she left with a stronger book recommendation than most kids get from their English teachers. And when they’re not hanging out with locals, they’re roped into family gatherings, where they chat with relatives of all ages (because nothing prepares you for life quite like surviving a family quiz night).
Online Socialisation: The 21st-Century Lifeline
Let’s be real: we live in a digital world. My kids are practically tech-savvy diplomats. Whether it’s keeping up with friends across the country on Instagram, joining virtual coding classes, or diving into online gaming, their social lives extend far beyond our postcode.
My son’s Minecraft world-building is more than just a game; it’s an ongoing collaboration with friends from all over, filled with creative problem-solving, team-based missions, and some intense discussions about architectural design. And let’s not forget my daughter’s online chats with fellow bracelet-makers, discussing new designs or planning their next film project together. The internet is their modern-day schoolyard, and they’re acing it.
But What About School Socialisation?
Here’s the kicker: traditional school socialisation isn’t necessarily the gold standard. Sure, school gives you peers your own age, but real life? That’s full of people of all ages, from all walks of life. My kids are learning how to interact with everyone, from Dave the neighbour and his newfound love of chemistry to the toddler at the park who insists on calling my daughter "big sister" (which she seems to find both cute and slightly annoying).
My kids are honing their social skills in the real world—whether it’s working together in mixed-age groups at home-ed meetups or chatting to adults who genuinely appreciate their enthusiasm for random trivia (like why Jupiter has so many moons). They’re learning how to communicate, negotiate, and collaborate, which, let’s face it, are skills that’ll serve them well when they’re eventually running the world (or at least, running their own Dungeons & Dragons campaigns).
So, the Next Time Someone Asks Me About Socialisation…
I’ll probably smile, sip my (lukewarm) cup of coffee from my favourite local spot, and explain that my 16-year-old is currently teaching the periodic table to a pensioner, while my 12-year-old is selling her handmade bracelets at a craft fair and planning her next short film. Socialisation? They’ve got it covered.
Because whether they’re navigating teenage life with their mates, discussing complex ideas with adults, or befriending kids at the park, my children are learning the most important social skill of all: how to connect with people, no matter their age.
And when they’re not doing that, they’ll be here—raiding the fridge and reminding me why I haven’t had a hot cup of tea in about 12 years.
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