Let's be real—if you’re home educating a pre-teen, you’ve likely heard it all before: “I’m tired,” “This is boring,” or “Why do I have to learn this?” It’s like a script they’re all secretly given once they hit 11. But underneath the eye rolls and sighs, they’re going through a huge transition, moving from the more relaxed primary years to what feels like a giant leap into secondary learning.
This stage isn’t easy—for them or us as parents—but with a little patience, humour, and a lot of flexibility, we can get through it together.
That Awkward Phase: Not Quite Kids, Not Quite Teens
Pre-teens live in this tricky in-between space where they’re still kids in so many ways, but they’re also itching for more independence. The challenge? They still need us to guide them, but they don’t always want to admit it. They’re growing, emotionally and physically, which often explains why they’re genuinely more tired and less focused. At the same time, they’re starting to question everything (including why algebra even exists), and the “I’m bored” complaint is all too common.
But here's the thing—boredom is often a sign that they’re ready for more. More challenge, more responsibility, more independence. It’s a balancing act between keeping things engaging and recognising when they need some downtime.
Age-Appropriate Resources? Good Luck
If you’ve ever tried searching for resources aimed specifically at pre-teens, you know how frustrating it can be. Most materials are either too young, filled with cartoonish fun, or too advanced, expecting them to be mini-adults. Finding that sweet spot of content that’s challenging yet still fun can feel like looking for a unicorn.
This is where hands-on learning comes to the rescue. Whether it’s cooking, building, or project-based learning, getting them involved in something tangible can make all the difference. The trick is to tap into their growing independence while still being there when they need help (because let’s be honest, they will need help).
The Battle for Independence (And Why We Can’t Just Back Off)
At this stage, they want to spread their wings, but they still need our help with navigating things like time management, staying focused, and sticking with projects even when it’s not their favourite thing. A structured but flexible routine helps—give them some control over how their learning day looks, but set clear expectations about what needs to be done. You can also introduce practical life skills into their learning, like budgeting or cooking, which sneakily teach independence without being boring.
They may seem like they’ve got it all figured out, but behind the bravado, they still need us to be there for them, guiding them—just not too much in their face!
Role Models vs. TikTok Trends
In today’s world, finding age-appropriate role models is a real challenge. Social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube are full of influencers, but not all of them are sending the right message to our kids. And if you’re like us, where social media isn’t allowed, you’re probably having to work a bit harder to fill that gap.
The good news is that there are other ways to inspire pre-teens. Introduce them to real-world role models—people who’ve accomplished things they admire or who reflect the values you want to encourage. These role models don’t have to be celebrities; they can be local business owners, authors, artists, or family friends who are passionate about what they do.
Finding the Balance: How to Support Them (Without Hovering)
So how do we support our pre-teens without hovering over them? It’s all about creating a space where they can explore their independence while knowing we’ve got their backs. Encourage them to plan out their own projects, give them responsibility, but check in regularly without being too intrusive. The key is to offer support without taking over.
And, of course, keep encouraging screen-free time. Whether it’s through outdoor adventures, reading, or hobbies like drawing or crafting, providing them with non-digital options is crucial for keeping them grounded in the real world.
A Phase That Will Pass
This phase might feel like a rollercoaster of boredom, exhaustion, and bursts of independence, but it’s just that—a phase. Before you know it, they’ll have moved on, and you’ll look back at this time (hopefully with fond memories) of how you navigated it together.
You’ve got this!
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